Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Insulted much?
Ugly Insults//
By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
Your so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go burry it"!
The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.
You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its a*s and teach it to walk backwards!
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You're so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
I would say you look like a monkey but that would insult them.
You remind me of my chinese friend; Ugg-lee.
You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.
What did you have for breakfast? Ugly-o's?
Did you fall on concrete again? Oh sorry.... I forgot that was your "natural" look.
Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.
Old People Insults//
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
Your grandfather is so old he remembers when the dead sea was just feeling ill.
Your grandfather is so old, when he went to school, history was current events.
You're so old you're birthday cake looks like a forest fire.
You're so old, the Three Wise Men helped you with your homework.
You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.
Hey, act your age -- senile!
You're so old, I bet you're constipated!
Money Insults//
You're so poor you're always talking about the time you almost ate at a restaurant!
You're so poor, I lit a match and the roaches ran out singing "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord cause we got heat!"
You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother moving a trash can from one street to another. I asked what was she doing and she said, "I am moving my house to another place it's too noisy out there!"
You're so poor that when you go to McDonalds, you have to put the dollar meal on layaway!
You're so poor that when I went to your house and used the bathroom, a rat tripped me and a cockroach took my wallet.
You're so poor, your version of cable TV is to go outside, watch the police and call it "Cops."
You're so poor, even the Mexicans make fun of you!
Height Insults//
You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!
You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.
You're so short, you'll need a ladder to reach manhood.
How's the weather down there?
Short person: How's the weather up there?
Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?
You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.
Girl Insults//
Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
They call her 'The radio station' cause she's so easy to pick up.
Is it just me, or do you have the chest of an Eleven year old boy?
I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues
I bet a chicken breast has bigger breasts than you do.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Dear Sluut your right leg misses your left leg.
Hello sir. OH I'm sorry I didn't realize your breasts were so small! I'll try to be more observant next time.
Biitch, please could I wipe 90% of your beauty off with a wet Kleenex.
KFC banned you for having a bigger bucket than them.
Fat Insults//
At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Your so fat that when you're hungry the elephants hide
You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.
You're so fat the last time you saw 90210 was on a scale
You're so fat, you've got more rolls than a bakery.
You know why they say you and PAC-MAN are like brothers? Because neither you can stop eating.
I wonder how many children are in that stomach.
You're so fat, when God said let their be light, he said get your fat a*s out the way.
Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jello
You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.
You're the reason god created double doors
♥
By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
Your so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go burry it"!
The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.
You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its a*s and teach it to walk backwards!
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You're so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
I would say you look like a monkey but that would insult them.
You remind me of my chinese friend; Ugg-lee.
You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.
What did you have for breakfast? Ugly-o's?
Did you fall on concrete again? Oh sorry.... I forgot that was your "natural" look.
Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.
Old People Insults//
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
Your grandfather is so old he remembers when the dead sea was just feeling ill.
Your grandfather is so old, when he went to school, history was current events.
You're so old you're birthday cake looks like a forest fire.
You're so old, the Three Wise Men helped you with your homework.
You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.
Hey, act your age -- senile!
You're so old, I bet you're constipated!
Money Insults//
You're so poor you're always talking about the time you almost ate at a restaurant!
You're so poor, I lit a match and the roaches ran out singing "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord cause we got heat!"
You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother moving a trash can from one street to another. I asked what was she doing and she said, "I am moving my house to another place it's too noisy out there!"
You're so poor that when you go to McDonalds, you have to put the dollar meal on layaway!
You're so poor that when I went to your house and used the bathroom, a rat tripped me and a cockroach took my wallet.
You're so poor, your version of cable TV is to go outside, watch the police and call it "Cops."
You're so poor, even the Mexicans make fun of you!
Height Insults//
You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!
You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.
You're so short, you'll need a ladder to reach manhood.
How's the weather down there?
Short person: How's the weather up there?
Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?
You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.
Girl Insults//
Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
They call her 'The radio station' cause she's so easy to pick up.
Is it just me, or do you have the chest of an Eleven year old boy?
I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues
I bet a chicken breast has bigger breasts than you do.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Dear Sluut your right leg misses your left leg.
Hello sir. OH I'm sorry I didn't realize your breasts were so small! I'll try to be more observant next time.
Biitch, please could I wipe 90% of your beauty off with a wet Kleenex.
KFC banned you for having a bigger bucket than them.
Fat Insults//
At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Your so fat that when you're hungry the elephants hide
You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.
You're so fat the last time you saw 90210 was on a scale
You're so fat, you've got more rolls than a bakery.
You know why they say you and PAC-MAN are like brothers? Because neither you can stop eating.
I wonder how many children are in that stomach.
You're so fat, when God said let their be light, he said get your fat a*s out the way.
Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jello
You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.
You're the reason god created double doors
♥
Having trubles with acne???
Heyy Ladies! I have not been on in such a long time! :/ I've been so busy with school & homework! It sucks! But acne sucks even more! So i know everyone has ACNE! Why hide? I have all the remedies you will need for healthy looking clear skin!(::
[Disappearing Pimple]
First lets start with how to get rid of that one pimple on your face that pops up and is so noticeable!...
Most beauty books would say don't touch it, don't squeee it, don't pick it, don't pop it.... THOSE ARE ALL LIES! If you leave it alone it will stay.
[The Remedy]
1. Wash your face and hands entirely.
2. Place index fingers on each side of pimple and squeeze!! Untill it makes a pop sound. Or starts bleeding.
3. If your mom says it will make a mark, shes wrong! It won't. Just moisturize daily and with in the next 2 days it will be off your face for good.
[Guide to Beautiful Skin]
If you want clear sakin, you have to work for it! Make sure to...
[Daily Clensing]
1. Wash day and night! Your skin hides oils and dead skin cells thats buid up during the day. You should never go to bed without washing the days dirt, no matter how tired you are. Make sure you 1. Wash 2. Toner 3. Moisturize.
[Eat]
2. Have a healthy diet. Don't fill up on junk all day that will cause you to break-out more.
[Be Active]
3. Exercise. Get your blood pumping! Take a jog around the block, or around your house. No matter what exercise you do, your skin will reward you.
[Hydrate]
4. Drink at least 9 glasses of water a day. This will keep your skin hydrated and moist. You don't want dry areas, do you?
[Z's]
5.Get your beauty sleep. Theres a reason its called beauty sleep. Duh. Get atleast 8 hours of sleep a night. Even if you go to school early, and going to bed earlier is the only option, your skin will thank you.
[Refreash]
6. If you have a facial at least once a week it will help your face feel and look good. Relaxing is always a remedy. Read below for some recipes.
[Facial Maks]
Oatmeal Smoothie- Smooths your skin
What you will need:
*3 tablespoons old-fashioned (not instant) oatmeal, uncooked.
*2 tablespoons plain yogurt. (vanilla)
What to do:
Mix oatmeal and yogurt into a pastey substance a pat on to your face. Hang around for 15 minutes. Rise with warm water to soothe your muscles.
Papaya Mask- cleans and moisturizes
What you will need:
*1/2 papaya
What to do:
Lightly mash half a papaya in a bowl with a fork. Rub the papaya all over your face. Let the fruit dry, for about 10 minutes. Rinse off with cold water to shock your pores and moisturize.
Banana Mash Mask- works magic on your face
What you need:
* 1 ripe banana
* 1 teaspoon honey
Mah the banana into a bowl with a fork (don't over mash or it will become liquidy). Mix honey. Spread over face, let sit for 10 minutes. Rinse clean with semi-warm water.
Sugar Scrub- Takes away dead skin cells (works great on lips too)
What you need:
*3 tablespoons sugar
*2 tablespoons baby oil
Mix sugar and oil to make a paste. Moisten your skin with water. Pat all over face and allow to dry for about 15 minutes. Rub off carefully with warm water.
[Disappearing Pimple]
First lets start with how to get rid of that one pimple on your face that pops up and is so noticeable!...
Most beauty books would say don't touch it, don't squeee it, don't pick it, don't pop it.... THOSE ARE ALL LIES! If you leave it alone it will stay.
[The Remedy]
1. Wash your face and hands entirely.
2. Place index fingers on each side of pimple and squeeze!! Untill it makes a pop sound. Or starts bleeding.
3. If your mom says it will make a mark, shes wrong! It won't. Just moisturize daily and with in the next 2 days it will be off your face for good.
[Guide to Beautiful Skin]
If you want clear sakin, you have to work for it! Make sure to...
[Daily Clensing]
1. Wash day and night! Your skin hides oils and dead skin cells thats buid up during the day. You should never go to bed without washing the days dirt, no matter how tired you are. Make sure you 1. Wash 2. Toner 3. Moisturize.
[Eat]
2. Have a healthy diet. Don't fill up on junk all day that will cause you to break-out more.
[Be Active]
3. Exercise. Get your blood pumping! Take a jog around the block, or around your house. No matter what exercise you do, your skin will reward you.
[Hydrate]
4. Drink at least 9 glasses of water a day. This will keep your skin hydrated and moist. You don't want dry areas, do you?
[Z's]
5.Get your beauty sleep. Theres a reason its called beauty sleep. Duh. Get atleast 8 hours of sleep a night. Even if you go to school early, and going to bed earlier is the only option, your skin will thank you.
[Refreash]
6. If you have a facial at least once a week it will help your face feel and look good. Relaxing is always a remedy. Read below for some recipes.
[Facial Maks]
Oatmeal Smoothie- Smooths your skin
What you will need:
*3 tablespoons old-fashioned (not instant) oatmeal, uncooked.
*2 tablespoons plain yogurt. (vanilla)
What to do:
Mix oatmeal and yogurt into a pastey substance a pat on to your face. Hang around for 15 minutes. Rise with warm water to soothe your muscles.
Papaya Mask- cleans and moisturizes
What you will need:
*1/2 papaya
What to do:
Lightly mash half a papaya in a bowl with a fork. Rub the papaya all over your face. Let the fruit dry, for about 10 minutes. Rinse off with cold water to shock your pores and moisturize.
Banana Mash Mask- works magic on your face
What you need:
* 1 ripe banana
* 1 teaspoon honey
Mah the banana into a bowl with a fork (don't over mash or it will become liquidy). Mix honey. Spread over face, let sit for 10 minutes. Rinse clean with semi-warm water.
Sugar Scrub- Takes away dead skin cells (works great on lips too)
What you need:
*3 tablespoons sugar
*2 tablespoons baby oil
Mix sugar and oil to make a paste. Moisten your skin with water. Pat all over face and allow to dry for about 15 minutes. Rub off carefully with warm water.
Having Style
Everyone has their own style, so it can't be right or wrong. But here are some tips on creating an outfit that suits you, and does not look mix matched.
*Shopping:
01. Pick out some eye-popping pieces that you can picture yourself wearing. Don't grab something off the shelf because it is a pretty color; chances are... when you get home and try it on before school.... IT LOOKS HORRIBLE!:( Then you have nothing to wear. I suggest you try everything on first.
02. Be a fashion designer for the day. Grab a cute top, then head towards the pants and hold the shirt up to as many cute pants you can find. Head to the accessories, and accessorize. Piece together an outfit that
matches ! * Suggestions: Flower-patterned pants, with a solid color top (that brings out the color in the pants), a cute layered necklace, and any earring of your choice. (that math the necklace or course!(: )
03. Keep track of how much you are spending, if you have a set budget... add the outfits as you are putting them together. (example: if one pair of pants are over-the-top, try a new pair.
Example Outfit: All colors work together.
-Coral Blazer, rolled up (inside textured)
-Light orange tank top
-Rolled up light denim skinny jeans
-Peach colored Heels
-(accessories) sunglasses
-black bag
*Working With what you have:
01. Plan it out. Same thing you do when shopping, except your closet is the store. Pick out outfits for the week so you are ready to go in the morning.
Tip: When you wear one outfit, wear that same out fit again in 2 weeks
When wearing plan colored jeans: It does not matter how often you wear them, only if they are colorful
and patterned. (flower pants).
02. If you hate your clothes. Suck it up! Make it work! You can wear that same old shirt with a blazer and it can look 100 percent better than before! Learn to make it work. Just accessorize!
Things to Spice up your outfit.
-hat
-necklace
-bracelet
-earrings
-scarf
-sunglasses
-trendy shoes (not your plain old uggs)
Hairstyles:
01. Match with your outfit! If you are wearing a orange head band with a yellow top, hello sunshine! Don't mix match.
02. Dressed for cold weather?, wear your hair down. When you are wearing a tank top, with shorts; buns & ponytails always look nice! I prefer to wear my hair down 24/7, but changes are always good.
I hope this helped girls!
*Shopping:
01. Pick out some eye-popping pieces that you can picture yourself wearing. Don't grab something off the shelf because it is a pretty color; chances are... when you get home and try it on before school.... IT LOOKS HORRIBLE!:( Then you have nothing to wear. I suggest you try everything on first.
02. Be a fashion designer for the day. Grab a cute top, then head towards the pants and hold the shirt up to as many cute pants you can find. Head to the accessories, and accessorize. Piece together an outfit that
03. Keep track of how much you are spending, if you have a set budget... add the outfits as you are putting them together. (example: if one pair of pants are over-the-top, try a new pair.
Example Outfit: All colors work together.
-Coral Blazer, rolled up (inside textured)
-Light orange tank top
-Rolled up light denim skinny jeans
-Peach colored Heels
-(accessories) sunglasses
-black bag
*Working With what you have:
01. Plan it out. Same thing you do when shopping, except your closet is the store. Pick out outfits for the week so you are ready to go in the morning.
Tip: When you wear one outfit, wear that same out fit again in 2 weeks
When wearing plan colored jeans: It does not matter how often you wear them, only if they are colorful
and patterned. (
02. If you hate your clothes. Suck it up! Make it work! You can wear that same old shirt with a blazer and it can look 100 percent better than before! Learn to make it work. Just accessorize!
Things to Spice up your outfit.
-hat
-necklace
-bracelet
-earrings
-scarf
-sunglasses
-trendy shoes (not your plain old uggs)
Hairstyles:
01. Match with your outfit! If you are wearing a orange head band with a yellow top, hello sunshine! Don't mix match.
02. Dressed for cold weather?, wear your hair down. When you are wearing a tank top, with shorts; buns & ponytails always look nice! I prefer to wear my hair down 24/7, but changes are always good.
I hope this helped girls!
XOXO, Lexy <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)