Insulted much?

Ugly Insults//

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.

Your so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go burry it"!

The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.

You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its a*s and teach it to walk backwards!

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.

You're so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"

I would say you look like a monkey but that would insult them.

You remind me of my chinese friend; Ugg-lee.

You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.

What did you have for breakfast? Ugly-o's?

Did you fall on concrete again? Oh sorry.... I forgot that was your "natural" look.

Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.


Old People Insults//

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

Your grandfather is so old he remembers when the dead sea was just feeling ill.

Your grandfather is so old, when he went to school, history was current events.

You're so old you're birthday cake looks like a forest fire.

You're so old, the Three Wise Men helped you with your homework.

You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.

Hey, act your age -- senile!

You're so old, I bet you're constipated!


Money Insults//

You're so poor you're always talking about the time you almost ate at a restaurant!

You're so poor, I lit a match and the roaches ran out singing "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord cause we got heat!"

You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother moving a trash can from one street to another. I asked what was she doing and she said, "I am moving my house to another place it's too noisy out there!"

You're so poor that when you go to McDonalds, you have to put the dollar meal on layaway!

You're so poor that when I went to your house and used the bathroom, a rat tripped me and a cockroach took my wallet.

You're so poor, your version of cable TV is to go outside, watch the police and call it "Cops."

You're so poor, even the Mexicans make fun of you!

Height Insults//

You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!

You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.

You're so short, you'll need a ladder to reach manhood.

How's the weather down there?

Short person: How's the weather up there?
Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?

You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.


Girl Insults//


Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

They call her 'The radio station' cause she's so easy to pick up.

Is it just me, or do you have the chest of an Eleven year old boy?

I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues

I bet a chicken breast has bigger breasts than you do.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Dear Sluut your right leg misses your left leg.

Hello sir. OH I'm sorry I didn't realize your breasts were so small! I'll try to be more observant next time.

Biitch, please could I wipe 90% of your beauty off with a wet Kleenex.

KFC banned you for having a bigger bucket than them.

Fat Insults//

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Your so fat that when you're hungry the elephants hide

You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.

It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.

You're so fat the last time you saw 90210 was on a scale

You're so fat, you've got more rolls than a bakery.

You know why they say you and PAC-MAN are like brothers? Because neither you can stop eating.

I wonder how many children are in that stomach.

You're so fat, when God said let their be light, he said get your fat a*s out the way.

Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.

Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jello

You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.

You're the reason god created double doors

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